Cancer Episodes
After numerous tests the doctor broke the news
Labelled a patient with breast cancer
I felt alone-all I can do is release my tears
The little lump started to grow
An alien rooted in me-my chance of survival is low
They will take my breast-they need to go that far
Left in emptiness-once was…now just a scar
Feeling all numb, its hard to undo the pain
Yet-I could not imagine if I had not taken these steps
I would have missed chances- fading in regrets
It was another chance for the life that was given to me
So You are the famous Cancer…
You came in without invitation
Invaded my life without my permission
All this time your were invisible from my sight
Now you have declared your existence-giving me a fright
Expecting me to fall……
Without even fighting or having any role
Changed the process of my life in a storm
I cannot let you take over my body-my home
I just can not live in fear……
You fill me with pain that I can not steer
So much pain to endure…..
I will prevail beyond any strike- never falter
I'm a survivor
I’m not going to be drawn into grievance
It is enough being a melting Ice
So it is time to break the silence
Break the Ice
I was once bitter and furious
Lived in denial-felt victimized with illness
I knew I needed to fight to overcome the trials
In every hour-every minute has so much worthiness
Rising from a fall is not easy, but gradually I learn to have endurance
Being a survivor-embracing life with gladness
When you take my hands,
When you are there standing by me
I can do it all
When my tears fall
As this soul of mine can not stop its scream
And life seems an everlasting nightmare
I find you there, turning everything into a dream
I'm sure - I can do it all
You taught me that to fall is but a step along the way
Falling, is not the end of the world
Now I take the challenges
With all your teaching - I can do it all
Labelled a patient with breast cancer
I felt alone-all I can do is release my tears
The little lump started to grow
An alien rooted in me-my chance of survival is low
They will take my breast-they need to go that far
Left in emptiness-once was…now just a scar
Feeling all numb, its hard to undo the pain
Yet-I could not imagine if I had not taken these steps
I would have missed chances- fading in regrets
It was another chance for the life that was given to me
So You are the famous Cancer…
You came in without invitation
Invaded my life without my permission
All this time your were invisible from my sight
Now you have declared your existence-giving me a fright
Expecting me to fall……
Without even fighting or having any role
Changed the process of my life in a storm
I cannot let you take over my body-my home
I just can not live in fear……
You fill me with pain that I can not steer
So much pain to endure…..
I will prevail beyond any strike- never falter
I'm a survivor
I’m not going to be drawn into grievance
It is enough being a melting Ice
So it is time to break the silence
Break the Ice
I was once bitter and furious
Lived in denial-felt victimized with illness
I knew I needed to fight to overcome the trials
In every hour-every minute has so much worthiness
Rising from a fall is not easy, but gradually I learn to have endurance
Being a survivor-embracing life with gladness
When you take my hands,
When you are there standing by me
I can do it all
When my tears fall
As this soul of mine can not stop its scream
And life seems an everlasting nightmare
I find you there, turning everything into a dream
I'm sure - I can do it all
You taught me that to fall is but a step along the way
Falling, is not the end of the world
Now I take the challenges
With all your teaching - I can do it all
على حـافة السقوط
تنهمر دموع الحياة
وها قلبي على وشك السباق
بين خطوة وأخرى تردد وارتباك
في هذا الدرب المظلم
قوة تدفعني للأمام
لتعبر خطواتي اليوم والغد
فقد حان للغيم أن يتبدد
لا صراع بعد اليوم
بين زمام المجازفة
وتصميم الارادة
انه الدافع للحياة
تعلمتُ الصمود في وجهِ العثرات
أتحسسُ طريقي ماض في ظلمة
أسيرُ حتى يبددُ النورُ السواد
أمضي وقلبيَ المكلوم
سقوطٌ ولا استسلام
أقفُ هاهنا مصغ لدويّ الألم
وإلى النهاية
في وجه تيار المطر
آثارٌ مهملة فوق ذرات الرمال
أزالت الريح ما كان يوماً أثراُ
وهذا الداء يمحو آثار حياتنا
رباه إنا على وهنٍ نستند
رباه امنحنا القوة
أرشد أرواحنا إلى درب الشفاء
عندما لا تقوى روحي على كبتِ صرختها
وتبدو الحياةُ ككابوسٍ أبديّ
أراكَ أمامي،
تحيلُ الكونَ إلى حلمٍ ورديّ
صدقني..سأقهرُ المستحيل
يا من علمتني أن السقوطَ مرحلةٌ
لا آخرَ المطاف
ها أنا أطارحُ التحديات
يسندني حديثك،
فأقهرُ المستحيل
تنهمر دموع الحياة
وها قلبي على وشك السباق
بين خطوة وأخرى تردد وارتباك
في هذا الدرب المظلم
قوة تدفعني للأمام
لتعبر خطواتي اليوم والغد
فقد حان للغيم أن يتبدد
لا صراع بعد اليوم
بين زمام المجازفة
وتصميم الارادة
انه الدافع للحياة
تعلمتُ الصمود في وجهِ العثرات
أتحسسُ طريقي ماض في ظلمة
أسيرُ حتى يبددُ النورُ السواد
أمضي وقلبيَ المكلوم
سقوطٌ ولا استسلام
أقفُ هاهنا مصغ لدويّ الألم
وإلى النهاية
في وجه تيار المطر
آثارٌ مهملة فوق ذرات الرمال
أزالت الريح ما كان يوماً أثراُ
وهذا الداء يمحو آثار حياتنا
رباه إنا على وهنٍ نستند
رباه امنحنا القوة
أرشد أرواحنا إلى درب الشفاء
عندما لا تقوى روحي على كبتِ صرختها
وتبدو الحياةُ ككابوسٍ أبديّ
أراكَ أمامي،
تحيلُ الكونَ إلى حلمٍ ورديّ
صدقني..سأقهرُ المستحيل
يا من علمتني أن السقوطَ مرحلةٌ
لا آخرَ المطاف
ها أنا أطارحُ التحديات
يسندني حديثك،
فأقهرُ المستحيل
Translated by Translation Group in Sultan Qaboos University
From the Book Within Myself: the Willpoer To Live Beyond Cancer
By Nasra Al Adawi
posted by iamnasra at 1:22 PM
28 Comments:
These are collective poems that I wrote in support for women fighting against cancer
I hope it will touch those who read it like the way these ladies touched mine and I hope I was able to potray a little bit of their feelings in my poetry
i felt scared reading it, almost skipped to the end but then read it again.
a freind of mine lost her mum to it, another freind's mum died with a stomach cancer and the other day i met a guy who works for a company who specializes in oncology medicines. its everywhere around you and you just pray that it doesnt touch you or your loved ones and you pray desperately!
Gulnaz
I know how it feel having lost my Dad by cancer
I am relieved to hear that these poems are for others, not because you suffer from cancer. I am struck in the first poem by the sense of calm throughout. I lost my mother to cancer, and I have a much angrier, sometimes violent view of the disease. However, you presented it in a calm conversation with a losing partner. Thank you for sharing this new perspective.
Nasra,
You are a gifted writer, no doubt, you should take up wrting as your
profession, that's my sincere suggestion. i have read what you have
written
on toowrite.com. wonderful, simple and peotic.. even your prose is
written
like a poem... looks like most of your writing is from within ...
within
from your pain, sorrow and heart felt and haunting incidents in your
life..
the poem "How could it be' is very touching and sad indeed too..
i see lot of common threads in between our lives... childhood trumas
inflicted by others at an age when you know nothing about the
world..cancer
of close ones....i can see the tears running down your cheeks, feel the
pain
you still undergo, anger, frustation you feels about being unable to
prevent
those things in life.... because i have gone through it and still
undergo at
times.
rajiv
Dear Nasra
It was such a delight to meet with you. I think you are an exceptional person and have so much to offer mankind. Do not let this wonderful talent you have be wasted. I chose this picture for you because these birds are flying free and high with the Spiritual closeness of the universe. Nasra, your poetry is a gift from God, you are using this in a right way, the other poems you sent me are also beautiful.
Keep up your amazing abilities, remember all I have told you and believe in yourself.
Your time is coming, trust in yourself more.
I am always going to remember you in my prayers, hope in my next visit to Oman I will see you again.
Keep in touch.
VAL
You are shining and being a role model for women in the Middle East, what can I say but how proud I am of you Nasra. You just keep on growing and sharing your incredible talent over and over again. God blessed us when he bought you into our lives and we love you dearly. Will be in Dubai form the 10th August this year til the end of September. Hopefully we will catch up with you again when we get over to the Middle East. Keep up your good deeds and once again we are proud of you and love you dearly.
Lots of Love
Mum and Dad in Aus.
Well said, and great for you to have written feelingly beyond something in your personal experience.
Hi Nasra,
What a beautiful _expression of strength in the face
of illness!
My favorite lines were:
It is enough being a melting Ice
So it is time to break the silence
Break the Ice
The imagery of ice melting, then followed by its being
broken altogether, how fascinating!
Good work, and good luck with everything!
Keep on writing,
Patty Apostolides
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Nasra:
Keep on "embracing life with gladness"!!
We all support your valiant struggle, so well, so
articulately expressed in your poem. You deserve more
than support. You gained our admiration, our respect
and our prayers. God be with you, always.
Alex
Your words resonate with so much Humanoity. i can relate completely to those feelings because i have faced such a monster. More recently, my father is sufffering this fate. he is end-stage now and I haven't the courage to go through it with him. There are so many painful issues I will have to revisit - I suppose it is inevitable.
Thank you for such moving words. I hope you publish a collection of these writings because they definitely have a commonality to them that reach beyond culture and boundries.
Be safe
J
it was reassuring to read your mum and dad's loving comment. you must have gone through hell when your dad was battling with the cancer. wishing both your mum and dad good health and a long life. they are rightly proud of you.
you have touched many with your words, more power to u.
gulnaz
beautiful poem. there is so much strength to be found in your words. it's inspiring for those in this place. :)
Stan
It so good to see you in my blog...Im so sorry about your mother, cancer is an illness does not know race or age. it take anyone from this part of earth. Even some animals fall ill with cancer..
Paul
Well its good to see u again in my blog.
Gulnaz
Huge hug to you. I dont think I will be over the idea that my Dad is no longer with me. I still can not digest the idea.
The comments of My MUM & Dad in Australia...They are my parents who love me even though Im not their biological daughter. So even though I lost my own dad I have one who seems to look after even from a distance
"Hey this is true? :-(, u really are suffering from cancer? I don't know Urdu so couldn't make out those lines."
That was the comment I thought b4 i read ur first comment. Its really a beautiful expression and its really very very touching, Nasra.
Het
Im not suffering from cancer..The poem was written in support of women with breast cancer here in Oman..
My Dad died from cancer so I know how it feels to loose someone with cancer
The poem which is belwo the english poem is in fact Arabic not Urdu (but for some Urdu and Arbic is very similar)
Thanks for visiting my blog
Ya i knew that later after reading ur firs comment that it was for someone else.
I am sorry for that. It is very painful to see some1 near in cancer as one of my dearest uncle passed away due to cancer.
Urdu and Arabic are somewhat similar especially for a person like me, who has not even passed from anywhere near by those languages :-).
i'm so sorry nasra!
i don't know what to say.
may allah give you the strength to carrry on and may your father find eternal happiness in heaven.
XOXO
Sweet Nasra,
Firstly, I'm relieved that you are not stricken with cancer. Secondly, I feel a gentle and wise soul through your beautiful poetry and prose. This is my first time here. I don't know if you happend upon my other site randomly (http://Green-Eyedlady.blogspot.com)?
This current post about cancer poetry written for others filled me with such joy of your giving heart and it also shocked me, because my current post on my other site "SilkenThreads", talks of many issues, including losing sommeone to cancer and a tad about my own medical battles with cancer.
To have done this for others, is a dream of mine, to write and illustrate. Already, I have donated paintings to hospitals....for healing arts. I'm delighted to see others doing likewise in other avenues. I'm omitting my personal stories about cancer here, b/c that is not important now. (I hope this post. BLogger is acting up... )
SIlverMoon
Http://SilkenThreads18.blog.colm
I must run. Thank you again, for this gift into the your eyes, the view (window) into yourself. I'm so happy to have found your site!
An unwelcome stranger knocks at the door. She lets the stranger in, and adapts to the potential danger, unwilling to let go of her life, her soul.
Iamnasra, this will be precious to all women, especially those that are breast cancer survivors.
Dear Iamnasra I am so relieved this was not about you, few people have not some friend or family member who has suffered from this terrible disease and I think often like death people are scared to talk about it.
Very strong and touching. Emotionally connects.
hey the woman in the poem would have loved to be remembered as a fighter - someone full of courage...and so would your dad.. his memories should give you the courage to live life happily.. as life gives you but one chance to live it !
Very thoughtful of you Nasra.. Well, you scared me at the beginning, but then I got what you mean.. I'm sorry for your loss.. May Allah protect us all from such pain..
You know what?? I am too proud of you! :)
Nasra,
That was so incredible!! I almost started to cry... So true. The survivor story. Thank You for this.
My heart sings for the beauty of your work.... :)
You have written this for others like you lived it yourself, nothing can beat that . The hardest thing is to put yourself in another shoes , but to do so and look through their eyes is a gift. well done.
hi! this poem is phenomenally touching. heart wrenching even.
beautiful.
you have a great skill...you wrote the arabic version of it too?
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