Ask These Tears

If you ask these tears

Why are you falling now

I will wipe you off

There will be no sign of you

Not falling any more

But you are still so here

Resisting to go

As you sheltered inside

Just aching this heart

Stabbing it to die

 

If you ask these tears

Let go of my heart

I want a new start

Where you are not apart

Leave me behind

Cause I don't need you inside

You riffled it enough  

 

copyright 2017 Nasra Al Adawi

~ unknown ~

Is that glow
Some of your radiance
Within far distance
Or  its illumination of my heart
That distracted my view and glance
In plethora of emotions
Which abstracted a compass 
To leave me without directions
So I'm up on on journey
Undecided if you are part of it
Or am I heading without you
My emotions are overflowing
Simply full of unknowns

Copyright 2016 Nasra Al Adawi

In Here

~His Rose~

Think.. Think of a rose. Can you imagine it .Can you see what color is it? Can you feel the touch of it petals… Not many of us dislike roses.. in fact roses are symbol of beauty. Wouldn’t you think, that roses not only a symbol of beauty but it is symbol of love and appreciation to our other half.

When a man unites with his woman in marriage, its like acquiring a rose or he see his woman as pretty as the rose or prettier that a rose. That perception it can last.. Not just a year, it can be longer. Let us leave to husbands to give an answer to that.  The beginning is the marriage and it is for those of you who are still married out there. It is a spectacular journey; both husband and wife work on their relation constantly and being resilient. Some of us need to hold on our other half, so that marriage remains an iron poll. Some of us, we find ourselves in a shaky relation that a small stir of the water, can flip us out of the boat. 

My story is no different as a woman; I wanted to be the rose in his hand…to be cushioned softly in his hand. I wanted to be His Rose. I was so focused being a rose that did not pay attention that we were out there in that shaky boat and got tripped falling apart. I somehow made it to shore, but a different shore from him. Did not drown yet battered, through storms of separation. The ugly word is divorce.  

That was our life and now separates lives, had fallen.. Petals shattered. Picking petals may be easy but no one can glue torn petals. The reality stared at me that no one can amend a shredded life and I’m no longer His Rose within his cushioned hands.

The beauty of rose, that it is plucked from a plant. The plant still grows…Our soul is just like a plant. One day it striked me, that one phase of that piece of rose needs to be thrown. Yet, just like a plant, we begin again a new journey, learning to grow. So growing little by little of being on my own, and faith was the sunlight. No matter how small is the plant, it can only reach out to the light.  I felt the blessing of God little by little pouring in me, to gain energy to grow. My family, kids and friend were the nourishing water to continue the journey to grow.

As I stand here witnessing my own growth, it became crystal clear that I can only be myself and blossoming being me. Neither his nor anyone’s rose, I stand here right before you being in myself skin plainly a rose of my own.         

 
For all of you out there, let us be truthful to our wives and our girls. That she is a rose of her own not her father’s rose not her husband’s rose. She can only blossom by herself, so when that hands of yours due to anything disappears. She will still stand by herself continue the journey on her own.

copyright 2015 Nasra Al Adawi

Missed that Voice

Write On

I can see every bit of stillness or existence… An element to inspire us to write... What hold us is ourselves… So carry on writing for  a reason each thing is a word that can create the beginning of a verse… Write  on my soul… Today no one hear you.. But maybe one person you might inspire... That you move them beyond you can imagine ..

Unforgettable Woman

The challenge began for me.. “how would I ever   write about women with cancer”… to reflect their life in living beyond cancer. In 2002, I was just beginner poet, who had just collection of poetry for children touched by cancer.

I was in an ambiguous situation ….. I was tasked to portray stories of Omani women conquered cancer. For me cancer was about loosing my Dad and poetry was a therapy to overcome my grief of losing my father.

I thought it is easy, collection of poem. Donate them to Oman Cancer group that was back in 2003. My task was over, the group will make a book and proceeds will be a contribution for the group. However the people of behind the group they worked for a cause to spread cancer awareness and educate people about cancer. They did this passionately and I guess they wanted me to truly learn and it was not just making about. It was making the difference in others.

I was set to a journey to find out more about breast cancer and how it changes women life ..Omani women..Their stories were essential to inspire others who are battling cancer. There I was heading to Al Khodh to one of the ladies to capture her story …Naela Al Marhoobi.. Her house had a sense of serenity, and there I was seated near the window. When she came greeted me in a smile, had radiant glow on her face.

I was nervous, I thought to myself this is easy. What’s so difficult in taking a story, I planned that I will approach it in telling her my side of story and how I understand her and connect with her through my loss.. my father and what cancer means to me.

As Naela narrated her story, on the  first instance to receive the news that she has cancer. She told the Doctor “Al Hamdullillah (Thank God)”. The doctor was foreign doctor so he called a nurse to explain to her thinking that she did not understand and she replied back “ Al Humdilliah”. Al Humiddliilah for good and for the calamity she explained to the doctor. The same happened when she arrived home to receive a call from her husband on how the check up went. She replied “ Al Humdilliah”, when he arrived home he started to panic when she broke the whole news to him. For her it was Al Hudllilah the acceptance of whatever Allah gave her whether good or bad news. Her faith and believe was the strength in coping and over coming cancer.   She continued to tell me all about her journey to be a survivor, so calm and with no single tear. As I was noting down, I started breaking down and cried. I could not take it, she was beautiful person having a mountain of faith.

I will not forget as she told about chemo and its effect. I could still imagine her standing there in the bathroom shaving her head due to chemo. Her 9 years old daughter came in and asked “why Mama you are shaving your”. Naela explained to her and without a word her daughter started to help. It was magical to hear her daughter telling her how beautiful she was being bold.

After a year I accomplished printing the book, unfortunately, Naela was admitted in hospital, another battle with cancer. I went to see her , I was like an old friend and was proud of me that I was able to accomplish.

Togather with her husband ..she battled cancer furiously and was able to see her first son get married.  With another battle with cancer, we lost Naela . Al Humdillah for I was lucky enough to meet her as she touched me and taught me in no matter how much ones calamity. Take it to Allah, your path will be smooth.

Last year, in middle of business meeting I was stopped by a young man. Who asked me if I was the same person who wrote a book on cancer. It happened to be her son , he asked for a copy of the book. After 10 years, I step in to the same house sat next to the window facing two glowing faces, Naela son and daughter and there I was telling how their mother was to me.   “Unforgettable Woman”

Though I barely knew her she was symbol of strength and I hope those who read her story will be inspired just like me.

Naela was among people who inspired me to write poem on cancer   titled So You are

So You are the famous Cancer…
You came in without invitation
Invaded my life without my permission
All this time your were invisible from my sight
Now you have declared your existence-giving me a fright
Expecting me to fall……
Without even fighting or having any role
Changed the process of my life in a storm
I cannot let you take over my body-my home
I just can not live in fear……
You fill me with pain that I can not steer
So much pain to endure…..
I will prevail beyond any strike- never falter
I'm a survivor

SLEEP OR LIVE

The Face of Trouble

Every journey..
Carries happiness. .
Or troubles takes a path. .
Every hardship is a lesson..
Either one accelerate forward
Or falls apart
Whatever it is
Some learing falls in place

Words 2014 Nasra Al-Adawi

The light ahead

Hope

Feels like Strawberry

We are here in strawberry ...

Living it 

Some days we know 

There are sweetness inside us 

We enjoy it 

Or days it's not enough 

A drip of chocolate to get more sweeter 

Or smoothness will be great in add of cream 

Moreover ..just being all strawberry is all good 

Wheels of Life

You are a Writer

You are the writer  

Creating a story 

Or many stories 

Your life  

Copyright 2013 Nasra Al Adawi 

~Smiling Sun~

Black velvet..., a photo by carf on Flickr.

Whatever it is..
It does not stop now
Yet whatever is today
Will end somehow
As the curtains of night
Opens its wings
However dark it is
Sunlight will strike
Once was a long dark night
Smiling sun will take a place
Night and Day
Or Day and Night
As earth goes on
Are on continuous race

Words By Nasra Al Adawi

~Uncover your Future~

Open the door of your mind and see the light, a photo by Pete Georgiev on Flickr.

While He was away …

Reality hits that He has gone with no return 

Loneness had fallen 

A curtain of dark shadow placed inside

The urging question continued to knock 

Repetitively asking the daring question 

This lonesome is it a journey? 

Or perhaps a short stop than one has to take

Aches, denial, refusal of this feeling 

On whatever emotion that had taken place

You wonder if you can allow yourself to just cry 

Letting out a burning cry that was meant to erupt 

Yet, pride stands on the way 

Telling you that you are a strong woman

A rock that had fallen from a mountain 

When a rock falls, no one hears its cry 

What had stayed inside is a story remained untold 

The pain suppressed, your rock is really a fragile glass 

Cracking little by little if it continues to be unresolved 

Face it Ms rock, let go.. let your tears out

Once you were a part of mountain, now you are the charisma of a rock

Loneness can be a statement, yet it’s not a forever status

You will learn to mingle with the wind,

Once you have dared, now you will feel and touch the rain 

Not only that you will discover new unexpected journeys 

You will allow yourself to freely travel with wadies 

A travel that you would never think can take place

This will occur little by little ..

All will happen in its due time 

It will only be in your hands to take the undiscovered journeys

Allow yourself to not fear it, rejoice the unknown

The undiscovered will be a new opened door 

Welcome to the future with an open embrace 

Copyright August 2013, Nasra Al Adawi

~ Back and Fro ~

Wave-worn Driftwood, Little Talbot Island State Park, Florida, a photo by MR MARK | photography on Flickr.

Tough times comes back and fro
You are the waves
That is telling me
Tears and pain tinkling foam
Touches my sand grains
Tough times retreats away
Yet some had been absorbed
Within these grains without knowing
I have learned my lessons
What I have missed learning at school
That pain at times inhabits our soul
You ought to stand against these waves
The reality is weaves will continue
To go back and fro
In acceptance of this fate
But I yield not to the pain

Copyright 2013 Nasra Al Adawi

~Raindrop Falls~

Raindrops on a Leaf, a photo by 1963chris on Flickr.

I was there all falling
Searching for a hero to save me
I kept falling, and falling
There were no hands to reach me
In midst of the fall, it became so clear
As I was going down, I’m all alone in this fall
Then the urge to survive on my own
Became the will stronger than myself
I plunged for life,
Taking what seems to be the last breath of air
Oh, God, I could  feel the strength
A miracle that arrived to me
Bringing a realization that I’m blessed falling here
Like raindrops ought to fall
The fall is not the end
Its actually the beginning
Raindrops fall for a reason
Nourishing whatever it touch
I’m no longer afraid to touch the ground
That is how I go on towards surviving

Copyright 2013 Nasra Al Adawi

Give Them Love

Lessons from Clean Up Oman Campaign

Trash, a photo by photographyguy on Flickr.

Its amazing how your mind could open up from a single thoughts or a campaign. That is how it was for me with Clean Up Oman Campaign, this single campaign I started to view my town in different lenses. A lens that crave for cleanness and gives a disprove eye at seeing clutter in its town. 

Although I have not volunteered in cleaning campaign but the realization on promoting cleanness in my town was a mission by itself. I was able to engage youth in my town who use to play football to be aware of their environment too a task was hard by itself. As an only female who approached football team to clean up the football pitch and the surrounding seem to be starnge and also be at front line in showing them how to collect clutter in the pitch and the area surrounded. 

Yet I realized the task of keeping my area clean does not depend only on me but it also needed to keep others aware and educate neighbors to be aware that it is important to apply responsibility when throwing garbage in the bin and that itself is not an easy task. I started teaching my house assistance on importance to be aware that when throwing the garbage, to throw in allocated bin and not outside as it was apparent that neighbors did not bother to throw in the bin and at times you will find empty bins but all litters are thrown outside. So I volunteered to clear the litter in my area’s bin as I only need myself and my daughter and my house assistance as extra helping hands. 

I thought to myself, its a great achievement to have cleaned my area’s bin but soon or later, l realized my task is not over as the organization that is assigned to collect domestic waste does not do its part fully. This was realized when my home cabinet had broke and there was no way to be fixed, carpenter indicated that my cabinet is not wood that he could reuse them back. SO I had to throw it, but I resolved to throw small piece instead of throwing whole litter in order to encourage the waste collector to carry the pieces. Unfortunately realized that the assigned waste collector refused to collect the pieces and it was thrown outside the bin.

By then I understood by now that huge trash material will not be collected, so we resolved to burning the huge pieces of woods and since my neighbor had thrown cut tree branches. As I watched the tree branches were burning, I was happy that I was able to get rid of the uncollected domestic waste. My happiness did not complete as another neighbor had mown their garden lawn and had not bothered to throw the waste in the bin but thrown everything outside the bin. So I wonder how to really educate such neighbor to be responsible neighbor to maintain our town clean.

Copyright July 2012 Nasra Al Adawi

~I’m on a Challenge~

I tried so hard, and got so far...But in the end...It doesn’t even matter...., a photo by ubermummy on Flickr.

Thank you for taking time to browse into this scattered thoughts. At times theses thoughts are the one that opened for me the first door and many doors had followed . It was always a poem, which has its uniqueness and a special place in my heart as it is the person in me that loved poetry.

A lot of times, I did not understand what is a poem consisting of, but, in my simple way, a poem is just about the feeling that I can emboss through words and share it within this layer of pages.

So I always appreciated the gift of inspiration that landed to me, cause those doors that had followed for me. It had opened up a new life for me. From creating that first poem, to publishing my first book, and to 2nd book to poetry exhibition, to a journey of journalism and writing to column writing. I have made those journey and it is great journey. As now, I have been in vacation of writing, it really feels like great fall, however the history that engraved behind me, it calls me back to work again toward that writing journey again.

So when I come back here to blogging, I understand that what had been a simple exercise 3 years ago. Now is a great effort to be taken. But the effort that I’m taking now in to scribbling, perhaps it is not so clear thoughts. It is my journey of getting back and jotting down theses thoughts to tell you, how I appreciate your encouragement in following my thoughts and pushing me back to write.

So here is the target for this month that I have to write 24 times, that may be a write up, or a poem or scattered thoughts. But I have to gear up again for my writing mission…

So here is your task, your help and assistance to remind me that I need to keep going on writing and I achieve my target.

So am I up to the challenge … Let us see…